im dumping blogger.

well i guess technically i already dumped it.

or at least neglected it for a few months.

but i have been using tumblr a little more regularly.

so if you would like to follow me at raychillw.tumblr.com that is where you will find future posts.

not my senior semester.

if everything went according to plan i would be graduating in 4 months.

most of my closest friends are graduating in 4 months.

my roommates are graduating in 4 months.

a lot of my friends from high school are graduating in 4 months.

i am not graduating in 4 months.

i changed majors a few times.

i took a lot of expensive naps my freshman year (ie did not pass a few classes).

i decided to double major (art and graphic design are two separate programs, fyi).

this is just a weird place to be. today was the first day of classes and everyone is talking about their FINAL SEMESTER. but it's not mine.

i mean on the plus side i get to avoid the "real world" a little longer.

i love being at cbu. i love the community. i love that i can always find a group of people to hang out with. but next year, while i will still be here, most of the people who make this place so incredible will not.

i'll miss you guys.

just kidding.

i changed a few of the classes i was taking.

this is my updated schedule... not that anyone cares. well except for those two anonymous people who left comments asking me to look at their hot new pics on my last blog... (i need to change my commenting settings)

m/w/f 10-11 advanced art

m/w/f 11-12 the history of modern america

mon 2-5 advanced typography

wed 2-5 drawing:perspective

tues/thurs 2- 3:20 color, theory and application

online- web design, html and css

i have to take alternative chapel. which means i have to listen to the chapel podcasts and take an online quiz because my classes conflict with the chapel times.

i decided i should at least take one general ed class, that way next semester i will have a more balanced schedule of design/art/gen ed classes.

school.

i finally registered for my spring classes.

next semester i am taking 18 units of art and graphic design classes... no general ed for me.

my schedule is:

m/w/f 10-11 advanced art

mononday 2-5 advanced typography

tuesday/thursday 2-3:20 color: theory and application

tuesday/thursday 4:30-5:50 film as a visual art

friday 2-5 advanced image

and one online class: web design and css

im pretty happy with it. on m/w/f my first class is at 10

tues/thurs my first class is at 2 in the afternoon!

one of those weeks.

i don't know what it is but december has been hard.

today i had to do some photo retouching in one of my classes and im using a picture that i took in louisiana.

im really missing that period in my life. it was hard. but i just grew so much and learned so much about myself.

why do i get all nostalgic like this?

i just thought i spelled nostalgic incorrectly so i looked it up.

yep... nostalgic is fo sho how i am feeling.

–noun

1.	a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time: a nostalgia for his college days.

2.	something that elicits or displays nostalgia.

in other news... my hands still have some gorilla glue on them. it has been three days. the napkin bits are mostly gone but my hands look all dry and peely but also shiny. and i can't snap.

glue.

yesterday i was scolded for neglecting my blog.

tonight i was working on my stupid model gallery project. i felt like i was in fourth grade building a model of a mission or something. only this time i didn't have my dad to help and give me guidance.

first i had to go to walmart (ew) (but thanks for taking me jackie!) because target was closed.

so i got home and measured and drew up the blue prints on the foam core. and then it was time to cut. i got all the walls and stuff cut out and i was ready to glue.

while gluing everything together i got a little gorilla glue on my hands. i tried washing them with soap and water. that only seemed to make everything worse. corinne suggested trying nail polish remover. that didn't remove the glue... instead pieces of the cotton ball that i was using to wipe it off just got stuck to my hand.

i ended up soaking my hands in hot soapy water and scrubbing with some exfoliating face wash for about 20 minutes. now my skin just feels rough and weird.

peeing in class.

ok, first of all i know "peeing" isn't the most ladylike term. i should say "using the restroom" or something like that. but i'm lazy.

although, explaining that probably took just as long. if not longer.

well.

i have a problem. i am totally not comfortable with leaving in the middle of a class to use the bathroom. there are a few reasons for this.

-i feel like its awkward to stand up in the middle of class and walk out

-its equally, if not more, awkward to ask for permission to leave

-i think it's kinda rude to leave while the professor is lecturing

-what if i miss something important while i am out of class

-what if i get back to class and the professor opens it up for discussion, then i will have no idea about what has already been covered

(side note: a pet peeve of mine is when people ask questions about things that have clearly been covered... just pay attention... you are wasting everyone's time)

-what if there is a line when i get to the bathroom? and then i have to wait? and then i get back and everyone wonders what i did in there... so awkward!

-

basically i just can't do it.

today in my christian social ethics class i had to go. i had to go bad.

it was 2:30. that three hour class goes till 5. the first week of school my classmates decided that instead of taking our allotted break halfway through the class we would rather get out of class 10 minutes early.

so it is 2:30 and i have to "hold it" till 4:30 at best.

around 3:30 im freaking out. i am probably majorly doing the potty dance in my seat. i am thinking that maybe i will have to break my streak of never peeing during a class and just excuse myself.

oh but i can't do that. if it was just a normal day maybe i would... but no. it is not a normal day, my professor's mentor came to talk to us. this is the man that inspired dr stumpf to teach. i can't just get up and leave in the middle of his lecture.

at 4 he has us break into groups to discuss something. and i think that maybe now is my chance. but just as i get up the courage to go he starts lecturing again.

i feel like i might pass out. i start picking away at my nail polish to take my mind off it. i don't know if i can make it. but now it's 4:15, wayyyy to late to get up and go. what if i leave and then class ends while im gone. and i have to come back to an empty class room. or what if all the students are gone but my professor stayed to make sure i was ok. maybe at that point i just wouldn't go back for my stuff.

finally the end is in sight. it's that point in class when it is acceptable to begin slowly packing up your stuff. i get everything together and put my backpack on. i can't sit still. the pain is so bad. i am planning on running to the bathroom, i have plotted my route in my mind.

class dismissed. i sprint to the bathroom. relief.