one of those weeks.

i don't know what it is but december has been hard.

today i had to do some photo retouching in one of my classes and im using a picture that i took in louisiana.

im really missing that period in my life. it was hard. but i just grew so much and learned so much about myself.

why do i get all nostalgic like this?

i just thought i spelled nostalgic incorrectly so i looked it up.

yep... nostalgic is fo sho how i am feeling.

–noun

1.	a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time: a nostalgia for his college days.

2.	something that elicits or displays nostalgia.

in other news... my hands still have some gorilla glue on them. it has been three days. the napkin bits are mostly gone but my hands look all dry and peely but also shiny. and i can't snap.

country and lots of blogs.

this is a screenshot of my google reader right now. 

i have so many unread blogs that i need to catch up on right now.

the past few weeks i really haven't had time to just sit down and read the hundreds of blogs im subscribed to. 

except for the blogs in my friends folder, i always keep up on those. 

so now i guess ill get started on these. 

side note. 

i hate country music. one of the main things we argued about in louisiana was music choice. it just annoys me. 

but then last week jackie went and bought taylor swift's new album. and we listened to it. and i really like it. i don't know that i really accept the country style of it, but i really really like her lyrics. when im listening i just want to be her friend. she seems like such a cool girl. and i just want to hang out with her. 

so i don't know if i should give any other country artists a chance now. 

is there anyone out there worth my time?

so live it out.

alisha just posted some louisiana pictures to facebook, and looking at them got me thinking about one of the families we stayed with in la. 

the voelkels. 

the boys lived at their house for two weeks. the first week they were there the voelkels were out of town on a family vacation with all of their kids and grandchildren.

 

they trusted 5 college kids with their amazing property.

thats a picture of ben and alisha riding around their lake. 

they really understood that God had blessed them with everything so that they could bless others. 

check out this gorgeous sunset. 

like people always talk about "blessed to be a blessing" but this family lived it out. 

i pray that i can remember how they lived and how they treated us when i grow up. 

and pam and norman voelkel... if you ever somehow read this... (i dont know, maybe if you google your names) thank you so much for everything! seriously, you guys are amazing. 

love and respect.

im working on a paper for my "art and the bible class"
and just thought i would post a quick blog.


"The sacredness of human personality is evident in that God created man in His own image, and in that Christ died for man; therefore, every person of every race possesses full dignity and is worthy of respect and Christian love."

i freaking love that so much.
and i don't even know what love means.


here is a quick video from louisiana. these are jane's 3-7 year olds playing musical chairs.
it makes me smile.

naming things.

i want to blog but i have nothing that i really want to share with the entire interweb.

its been an interesting break.

so i am pretty obsessive about how my music in my itunes library is organized.

i have a heck of a lot of music. 5257 songs worth.
so that's a lot of items to organize.


and i like to make playlists too.
becuase sometimes i am just in to mood for some chillaxing or happy happy joy joy and other times i just want to release my inner gangster and listen to some bangin' music.
then we have the disney jams, disney classics, and listen to this while you drink coffee.

i have all the music we listened to in the car in louisiana (louisiana car rides) in another playlist. and i have the gospel songs we sang at church in louisiana (halel la la luia) in another playlist.

there are a few others but those are the most frequentally played play lists. oh i left out the Lets be hardcore and shake our heads playlist.

and if you couldnt tell... i also enjoy naming these playlists.
actually, i enjoy naming lots of things.

so if you like have a baby, or anyhting else that needs naming... im your girl.

oh the memories.

i love these girls.
and i felt like posting goofy pictures of both of them.
but today i got to go out to lunch with alisha and jane, and we laughed a lot, cried a little, and basically i miss spending all of my time living life with them.

oh why

why do i miss louisiana so much?

no water.

The water at my house isnt working. Its shut off for some reason. So i brushed my teeth with a water bottle.

and im implementing "if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down."

and now im off to clean my room. it's a never ending task. And i just really want to have it in pretty good shape before i move back to school. I have like hal fmy stuff moved in and i just want to stay there.

saturday i listed a bunch of my old textbooks online at half.com and so far two of them have been purchased. so i made over 100 dollars on two books when cbu was going to give me about 40 for all of them. so i learned that it is always better to sell your books on the internet rather than back to the book store.

im going to go play some guitar hero, and clean my room.

then tonight im going out to dinner with 3/5 of my louisiana team.

oh and (its kinda a secret) most starbucks have pumpkin spice flavoring back in stock!
yay i love fall!

some of my struggles.

its crazy that i have been back from louisiana for over a month. crazy.
i am constantly reminded of those six weeks of my summer. which is good. and i hope it lasts.

becuase i love these girls so much.
and i love my team so much. (plus ben who isn't in this picture.)
but i have this terrible habit.
i move on and forget. i learned so much, but i already know i have slipped back into my routine here. but is that such a bad thing?
do i place too much emphasis on walking away from a situation totally changed?
often when returning from a mission trip i say "i went expecting to give and serve (the mexicans, chileans, homeless, cambodians...) but instead they served me and taught me so much."
but it always seems to be the same lesson. isn't once enough? or do i really need to keep relearning the same stuff?

desitini, one of my girls just myspaced me. she said "hey i miss you so much. are you coming back next summer!!!!!!" (yah no question mark, just a bunch of explanation points)

and i told her i don't know if i will be returning to louisiana. its something i always struggle with.
after chile i really wanted to go back. but i didn't. instead i took an opportuinity to go to cambodia. and it was amazing. and i really wanted to go back there. but i didn't. i went to louisiana.
this was our staff picture. i would love to be a part of that team next year. i just have no idea if thats where the lord will put me.

im back

i just got back from a six week trip down to louisisana.
i do not know how to begin to describe the past six weeks of my life.

lets just say it was a hard/amazing/unorginized/beautiful/chaoitic/southern/great/super/dynamite trip.

i loved it!

one of the hardest parts of coming back has been the feelings of loneliness. i spent a month and a half with 4 of the coolest people ever. i loved them and they drove me crazy at times. but we were never apart. seriously. so it is really weird sitting here all by myself.so the camp we worked at was 8 weeks long and we only got to be there for a week of training and the first five weeks of camp. its really hard for me to be sitting here on a couch in riverside when i know that all my girls are together at camp right now.do they miss me? do they even notice i am gone? did i impact them in an eternal way? are bible lessons still happening now that i am gone?
i know that i need to rely way less on myself and way more on the Lord.i learned so much on this trip and i have so many amazing stories. but i don't know where to begin. and i don't know if anyone even cares.

Louisisna.

i leave for louisiana saturday.
i will be there for six weeks.

this is how you can stay updated.

it's my team's blog.

i wrote the first post. and i even used capitol letters and correct-ish grammar.